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Mature Content Filter is On
(Contains: sexual themes and strong language)
We all have our kinks.

Some of us like to do it with the lights off. Some with the lights on. There are badge bunnies, and those that only bang celebrities. While I'd like to think I'm different than all the rest, there are too many demigods running around for that to be true. Of course, I am a bit of a rarity in these monotheistic modern times.

I only have sex with gods. And, yes, I mean exactly what I said.

So now you're thinking I must have the kind of body that turns a sane man mad, and leads a mad man to salvation. What a load of crap. My body is pretty mediocre, lumpy in all the wrong places. And I could stand to spend a few years at the gym. And, guess what, this face of mine won't be launching a dinghy, let alone a thousand ships.

But what I do have is this hunger--for fucking. I fuck like life is worth living. I fuck like I could die tomorrow. I fuck like I'm on my last breath.

Gods, well...gods love fucking. It is the only thing that reminds them that creating us was worth it. Sure, there's art and science and the quest for figuring out what It's all about or some shit like that. But gods have been there, though. And it gets boring after a few millennia--so they tell me.

What doesn't get boring is fucking with meaning. Fucking the life from our fragile little bodies. Fucking as our cells cycle their last cycle, as our heart beats slow and stop.

Of course, gods never stick around after that first, fucking night. Never stay nine months to see the birth of nymphs and heroes. I've learned the fun way that human contraception doesn't stand a chance against gods. Doesn't bother me though. I've read the myths, and I will not let gods muck about my family's lives. And my children will not go anywhere near their vain, paranoid, and bloodthirsty fathers. Also, those god genes really result in some great boys and girls. I take immense pleasure in collecting those "my kid is better than your kid" bumper stickers every year. And my youngest has a knack for finding loose change.

My nosy neighbors think I must be some sort of Mother Theresa, in order to have "adopted" so many children: I have nine. I wonder that if I gave them the right names, those idiots next door could see the gods in my kids' disparate faces like I do.

I met most of their fathers in Europe and the Greek islands. One in Reno. But I think the next time I leave the kids with my parents for my annual vacation, I might head to India.

I've never been.
Not a flash story. Just a point of view.
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Daily Deviation

Given 2014-06-05
Well-crafted voice and carefully selected content make Pantheon by mreid973 a successful character portrait. ( Featured by neurotype )
:icontaylornicolereed:
TaylorNicoleReed Featured By Owner Jun 29, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
The end of this made me giggle. Favorited.
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:iconmreid973:
mreid973 Featured By Owner Jun 29, 2014
Thank you
Reply
:iconadventurewarrior:
AdventureWarrior Featured By Owner Jun 5, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Sounds like PJO demigods.
Reply
:iconmreid973:
mreid973 Featured By Owner Jun 7, 2014
True. A lot of authors like their mythology. One of my favorites is Neil Gaiman's AMERICAN GODS.
Reply
:iconidjpanda:
iDJPanda Featured By Owner Jun 5, 2014  Student General Artist
Congrats on the DD!:wink: by iDJPanda
Have a nice day! : )
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:iconmreid973:
mreid973 Featured By Owner Jun 7, 2014
Thank you very much.
Reply
:iconidjpanda:
iDJPanda Featured By Owner Jun 8, 2014  Student General Artist
You're welcome! :happy lol awesome: 
Reply
:iconthegalleryofeve:
TheGalleryOfEve Featured By Owner Jun 5, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Congratulations on your well-deserved DD!!! :iconflyingheartsplz::iconlainloveplz::iconflyingheartsplz: :clap::clap::clap:
I’m very happy for you!!! :iconloveloveplz: :tighthug:
Reply
:iconmreid973:
mreid973 Featured By Owner Jun 7, 2014
Me, too. Thanks.
Reply
:iconliliwrites:
LiliWrites Featured By Owner Jun 5, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Hehe! This was fun. Now I'm all sorts of curious about what she'll find in India. :P Congrats on the DD!
Reply
:iconmreid973:
mreid973 Featured By Owner Jun 7, 2014
I think we all know what she finds. Cue the groovy music. 
Reply
:iconcake-sauce:
cake-sauce Featured By Owner Jun 5, 2014  Student Filmographer
I like this, it has a nice meaning to it. 
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:iconmreid973:
mreid973 Featured By Owner Jun 7, 2014
It does? Thank you.
Reply
:iconmaggie-x-awesomeness:
Maggie-X-Awesomeness Featured By Owner Jun 5, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
ewww...
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:iconmreid973:
mreid973 Featured By Owner Jun 7, 2014
To each her own.
Reply
:iconraiachi:
Raiachi Featured By Owner Jun 5, 2014  Student Digital Artist
This Is Great xD
Reply
:iconmreid973:
mreid973 Featured By Owner Jun 7, 2014
Thanks.
Reply
:iconcremecoco:
CremeCoco Featured By Owner Jun 5, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
At first I was a little weary at the filter setting, but once I read the comments, I couldn't NOT read this.
I'm glad I did though-
funny stuff!
Reply
:iconmreid973:
mreid973 Featured By Owner Jun 7, 2014
I take my filters seriously.
Reply
:iconcremecoco:
CremeCoco Featured By Owner Jun 7, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I can totally respect that c:
Reply
:iconaurorahuskie:
AuroraHuskie Featured By Owner Jun 5, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I LOVE THIS
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:iconmreid973:
mreid973 Featured By Owner Jun 7, 2014
Thank you.
Reply
:iconsorrowscoldfrost:
Sorrowscoldfrost Featured By Owner Jun 5, 2014
I honestly wasn't expecting this when I read it, but it was pretty good. You did a great job on the voice.
Reply
:iconmreid973:
mreid973 Featured By Owner Jun 7, 2014
Yes. I am sort of surprised that this thing got a DD. It doesn't really have a plot. Plots are important. 

Thank you.
Reply
:iconkarinta:
Karinta Featured By Owner Jun 5, 2014  Student General Artist
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA THIS IS BRILLIANT. You should expand on this! :glomp:
Reply
:iconmreid973:
mreid973 Featured By Owner Jun 7, 2014
Would need a story. Don't have one yet.

Thank you.
Reply
:iconkarinta:
Karinta Featured By Owner Jun 8, 2014  Student General Artist
:D I know :lol: You're welcome!
Reply
:iconayeaye12:
AyeAye12 Featured By Owner Jun 5, 2014  Student Writer
Oh I love this, the originality just crackles in the narration voice :excited:
Reply
:iconmreid973:
mreid973 Featured By Owner Jun 7, 2014
Oh good.
Reply
:iconnonier:
NonieR Featured By Owner Jun 5, 2014
Oh, YEAH!

This kicks @$$ and in the best way; you sell us immediately on the speaker--and therefore the gods, the kids, AND next year. ;)


A few minor beta suggestions if you want them (ignore if you don't):

* Apparent conflict between "The gods love fucking people to death/I've had great sex with a lot of gods"; do you want us wondering?

* Paragraph 8: Comma not needed between "first" and "fucking"

* "Nosy neighbors" is a cliche, though that doesn't mean the speaker wouldn't use it, but its usual connotations (neighbors are prudish, prurient, and gossipy) don't quite go with the Mother Theresa thing.

* We do wonder which god's attributes would be associated with finding loose change, but that's NOT a problem or crit.

* "Disparate"--First reaction: "Yay, someone who knows and uses this word!" Second reaction: "But some less-educated readers might thing she means "desperate" and be confused." Third, and probably most relevant, reaction: "This doesn't match the speaker's voice." Poot!

But despite these minor crits, what I'm gonna remember tomorrow and next week and probably next year isn't any of this little stuff; it's the character, the voice, and the story,

--Nonie
Reply
:iconmreid973:
mreid973 Featured By Owner Jun 7, 2014
Thanks. 

Re: suggestions. Yes. I am guilty of posting draft #1. 
*More like humans are actively dying since birth. I did not present that idea clearly.
*Oops.
*Eh. Possibly a case of writer's voice creeping into the character. Or I am lazy.
*A new god. I claim him! I shall be his sole acolyte. The coins will rain down prosperity on me, and I will die from a penny lodged in my medulla. 
*I think the narrator is a smart woman who knows some big words: she travels to foreign lands, she is intimately familiar with various pantheons, etc.

I liked it, so I posted it. I wanted to write a story with her, but I didn't manage to do so.

M. 
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:iconnoojie-woojie:
Noojie-Woojie Featured By Owner Jun 5, 2014
Nice, I like the new take on the subject matter.
I also love the authoritative narration of the character.


Well done!
Reply
:iconmreid973:
mreid973 Featured By Owner Jun 7, 2014
Cheers.
Reply
:icondanielleivanova:
DanielleIvanova Featured By Owner Jun 5, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Whoa! This was absolutely genius! :love:
Reply
:iconmreid973:
mreid973 Featured By Owner Jun 7, 2014
Thanks for the tiny disappearing hearts. 
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:iconavfc4me:
avfc4me Featured By Owner Feb 20, 2013
Won't ever say 'ohmygod!' again without a sly little grin...
Reply
:iconwolfrug:
Wolfrug Featured By Owner Feb 15, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Love the voice in this, which I think was your intention (I mean, to provide a strong voice). As far as worldmaking goes, it touches all the right little buttons of suspense and interest, and suggests a rather sphere of possibility. Which is the best thing about short flashes like these.

Yep. I like, I like a lot. I wonder if there's one of those funny -mania words for this particular obsession. theonymphomania =P
Reply
:iconmreid973:
mreid973 Featured By Owner Mar 6, 2013
Yes. It would be nice if there was a plot and stuff happened and all, but it didn't turn up.

Thus, I wrote this thing instead.
Reply
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Submitted on
February 14, 2013
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